life lately - warning ... this is not light hearted - is it self serving and quite pitiful

I have lately been sick. It seems like forever, but it has only been about 10 days. It is the flu - not sure if it is the dreaded flu - not sure if I want to know. It brought with it a serious and prolonged sore throat; muscle and bone aches as if I had worked out for 24 hours straight; headaches; fatigue; and on and on and on.

Everyday I wake up hoping to feel better but it seems like the recovery is in small itty bitty increments of improvement. I long to wake up and be able to clearly, not doubt about it, absolutely say that I am better. So far, NOT.

So, I have not been working out consistently for about 3-4 weeks - part because of travel and the rest because of sick. It feels like all of the traction and progress I have made is melting away. I am not happy about that.

I have missed some work days. Not particularly a concern except that there were things I did want to get done.

I am grumpy. I see everything in the most negative light. I don't think I am the most positive fun person anyway - add sick in the mix and I become more closed in and any teeny bits of positivity or funocity disappears. Not happy about that and I am sure that those around me aren't either.

I can't stand laying around and I am not a great napper!! All my life I have been moving around - doing something. Lack of energy forces me to do stuff I do not like - more deposits into the grumpy bank. Not happy.

In short, I do NOT do sick well at all. I don't even want to be around me.

The only thing that might even be a positive is that I weighed myself - down 3 lbs. Cost is too high, tho.

I must say that R has been taking care of me - with the patience of a saint. From my perspective, his actions are truly altruistic as he is getting absolutely no return on his investment of time, solicitation, or servings of chicken soup. I do love him so.

So - now that I have used this opportunity to dump (and hopefully to exorcise) all this toxicity, I thought I would [finally] end this wonderful post with a look forward out of this dark and dank place that I am in to what is possible, to what is worthwhile, to what could be a ray of sunshine...

In September, we are going to London. We are taking a side trip to Florence. To give you a taste of where and what....